A Christmas Stocking Story

Last year as we were getting ready to pack up the Christmas tree I read online about a neat tradition. Since we're still establishing our own Christmas traditions (thumbs up on the "Everyone gets a package with new pajamas and a new book on Christmas Eve," tradition - it was a hit), I pick these up every once in awhile. This particular idea was to write a prayer and stick it in your Christmas stocking before you packed it up for the year and then the next year, pull it out and read it. So we did. And this year, when we hung up our stockings, I pulled mine out and read it.

I was stunned.

God, I know that there's something out there you want me to do and to accomplish. I don't know what it is. I don't know how You're going to set me up to do this. So I wait. I will wait for You to tell me to go somewhere and to do something. I'm not ready for this. I know I'm not. But I'm waiting on You. And wherever You take me, I promise to follow as fearlessly as I can.

While I had spent a few weeks in January thinking about what I had written and stuck in the stocking I had mostly forgotten about it.

4 months after writing the prayer, I accepted a job that was going to take me away from everything I knew and loved and was comfortable with. The internal fear that came with that decision was almost crushing. I had applied not really thinking that I was qualified, nor thinking that the "new school" would want me. After all, when did I become a "real" teacher? But they did. They offered me pretty much a shot at everything I've ever wanted to be as a teacher.

In the months that have followed so many of those memories are simultaneously blurry and crystal clear. I barely remember anything from my small series of interviews other than being incredibly nervous. I barely remember anything from the first three days of school other than it took me that long to figure out I had a set of identical twin boys and it wasn't the same kid coming to 4 of my classes every day. The people I met and the things I did the first 3-4 weeks are a complete and total blur. I don't know that I'll ever be able to recall those clearly.

I do remember clearly the moment that I felt like I was part of a team trying to accomplish something that was bigger than ourselves. That was cool. I remember the first time I drove away from the "old" school, after dropping off my daughters, and to the "new" school and it didn't hurt. I remember the first time a student cracked a joke and I laughed and a new bond was formed. I remember when I suddenly realized that I was calling my students "my kids" again. I remember the first time I unexpectedly made one of my new colleagues laugh, really really laugh. I remember the first time I found, "Oh, you, too? I thought I was the only one,"moments, the beginnings of new friendships and relationships.

I didn't know it then, but what I put in that stocking last year was the beginning of something big. It was the precursor to what would end up being an epoch in my life.

The stockings will be filled tonight and in a week, we'll write new prayers and pack them up again, and next year we'll see again what the Lord has given us.

Merry Christmas to all. May the day bring you much joy, laughter, and celebration of the birth of a Savior.